New Beginnings OR: The Beginning of a Vegetableby Jonny
When I was little, I was a very picky eater: sugar, meat, cheese, bread/pasta & potatoes. My mother once took me to the Rabbi (they were tight) to get him to convince me to eat veggies. Jews don’t convince you do things by threatening your afterlife well-being -- they do it by making you feel bad about hurting your mother. So, after looking at my sobbing mother (I think it was all an act. When I hugged her & tasted her tears, they tasted like Visine), I decided to expand my palate. I tried everything from broccoli to brussel sprouts--the only thing I liked was carrots.
Note: The rabbi said, “You want to be a fighter pilot, right? Carrots will help you not wear glasses.” He was a liar. I should’ve stolen his yamaka.
20 years later, & I still like carrots best. Sure, I like other vegetables -- shout out to the 2011 US Congress for making pizza a vegetable -- but nothing hits home like carrots & hummus.
After I got "the call" from Nina offering me the job, I immediately rang up my girlfriend and asked her: "How do you feel about your boyfriend being a vegetable?" She still chews me out for saying that...we’d just seen "The Theory Of Everything" & she thought something terrible had happened to me.
I started my adventure at Carrot after a 10-day trip to China. I was so excited that I could barely sleep that night (no, I don’t blame it on the 13-hour time difference.).
I walked into the office with all my other baby carrots and we were BOMBARDED!
“Hey! Welcome aboard!” “Stoked to have you here!” “Can’t wait to get coffee with you!”
People knew my name instantly, there were some very nice treats waiting for me, & I was literally welcomed with open arms.
Never...NEVER have I felt so welcome ANYWHERE. This is including my parents house -- and my mother is a very possessive Israeli lady who misses me something fierce. I joined a family at Carrot...a very weird, quirky family that appreciates my love for Star Wars, underground music, data, and D&D. And they actually laugh at my Dad jokes.
It’s good to be home, Carrot. It’s good to be home.
Jonny joins us from Johnny Appleseed Hard Apple Cider, where he was a Community Manager, as our newest Community Manager.