The Carrot Blog

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If you were literally in a hole, underground, without human contact last week then you probably missed the STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS trailer. Otherwise, you probably lost your beans over this LEGO version, this Matthew McConaughey reaction, or this STAR WARS AIRPLANE.

If you need something to bring you back to equilibrium after that, check out this lil' bat eating a grape.

In other news, Celebrity Deathmatch is returning so that we’ll never have to hear about another VH1 program based on nostalgia of the 2000s. Speaking of nostalgia, you can buy some of Lindsay Lohan’s stuff because her mom is selling it all. Rule no. 1: don’t cross Dina.

If you’re still lookin’ for love or a lil’ sum'n, you can update your Tinder settings to pull in your Instagrams for hopefully less Insta-regrets facilitated by the app. Trying to get your game on but running out of apple juice? Try heading over to the nearest IKEA because you can’t trust Duracell to understand batteries of the future. And please, no matter what you do in life, always leave your selfie stick at home.

Concerned that all was going too well in our world last week? No fear because Coyotes are taking over NYC and a literal truckload of honeybees (worth $92K) spilled on an interstate in Washington. Where’s Pooh Bear when you need him? Or try calling a real superhero.

You might have been tempted to temporarily move if you live in Williamsburg after hearing the news about the L train service last week. Luckily, UBER will be there to save the day!

Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about your Hillary update. She ate a Chipotle burrito bowl as well as consumed a latte last week. If you care about the more serious side of her campaign, decide where you stand among these conspiracies.

P.S. Don’t sleep on Kong, this Grandma’s flyness, or this Robin Williams' tribute.

Happy Monday Y’all!